I was diagnosed with an acute ischemic stroke on May 7, 2023. It was at a time when I was already going through so many changes. I had recently had a hysterectomy two months prior and was caring for my wife who had been fighting lung cancer for nearly four years. And I was coming to terms with my son living on his own at twenty-one. 

 My entire life I have felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. Some would say this minor stroke was a wake up call. I started experiencing signs I was having a stroke while working my usual twelve hour night shift. I had been back at work for a full week after being off for two months to heal from a hysterectomy. My job as a Certified Nursing Assistant is mostly physical, meaning I have to turn and pull up patients in the beds, most of the time by myself. I would normally work the floor with about four or five nurses with eighteen to twenty patients. Sometimes it would be another CNA but on a good night. I believe I was doing too much too soon but there were no light duty assignments for CNAs. I began feeling weakness in my left arm while turning a patient. My thinking was that I hadn’t done it in a while. I thought I had to work my strength back up. 

Working Through Pain

 I have always worked through things that most people would just go home or to the hospital for. I’m used to taking care of multiple patients through tough back pain and excessive walking through arthritic knee pain or I’d work until I forgot it hurt. I’ve even worked with a fever a few times. I did what I had to do. Unfortunately, many of us in health care work like this. There are rules to how many times you can call off sick. Some places have sick time and some do not. 

Even though we are advised to stay home if we’re sick we are often put in a situation where we can’t afford to stay home. I'm saying all this to say I worked the entire shift with my arm feeling weaker and weaker. I tripped over my left leg a few times and felt the saliva gather in the corner of my mouth on the left side of my face. No one noticed however. Maybe because we were busy or maybe because I kept my mask on but to this day it surprises me how no one noticed.  

Denial

 I nearly tripped getting in the car when my wife picked me up from work. She asked me if I was feeling ok and did I want to go to the emergency room since we were right there. I told her I was fine and was just tired. She asked me if I was sure. I didn’t sound or look so good. I then said “let me take a shower and try to eat something and I will let you know”. She then said ok, dropped me off at home and then went to run errands. I tripped up the stairs to my apartment and went to the bathroom. When I looked in the mirror I knew I was in trouble. My face was drooping on one side. I then had to pick up my leg to get into the shower. I took a very careful shower. I took my blood pressure which was normal and I felt a sigh of relief. It was, however, short lived. I googled if it was possible to have a stroke with normal vitals and in so many words it said yes. 

 I then called my wife and told her I needed to go to the hospital. I didn’t tell her why because I didn’t want her to panic. She told me to try calling my mom because she was in the middle of something. I called my mom but she didn’t answer. I knew she was more than likely sleeping so I ordered a Lyft. I knew I was becoming more confused because I messed up the pickup and destination for the Lyft. I made it to the hospital however, and they called a code.  

 I stayed in the hospital for three days and was on short term disability for six months. I went through four months of outpatient physical therapy and lots of depression and stress. I thank God that the stroke wasn’t worse than what it could have been. However, I'm always in fear of having another stroke.

If you made it this far, thank you. This is my very first blog and I hope it gave you some kind of insight into what it was like for me. Even though it was a mild stroke it still affects me today. Expect new blogs every Monday and Thursday. I’m open to suggestions, questions, and comments.